Is Fear controlling your life – it might be and you don’t even know it!
How do you know when fear is controlling you? Here are some examples:
- You feel intimidated to talk to your boss
- You are afraid to talk to your spouse about something that needs to change
- You feel nervous before you have to give a speech
- You feel inferior when you are with friends or coworkers
- You hesitate from sharing your opinion in group discussions
- You are afraid to speak to someone you don’t know
- You accommodate the wishes of others when you’d rather not
- You don’t know how to say, “No”, when asked to do something
- You feel anxious about whether something bad might happen to you or your loved ones
- You are overly cautious about making plans for the future
- You dread going to work in the morning
- You are uncertain whether things are going to work out for you
- You dread visiting your parents or other relatives
- You worry about the safety of your children
- You feel insecure in a relationship or in a new job
- You are afraid to ask someone out on a date
There are so many ways that fear comes out in our daily lives. We are surrounded by it. The news media uses it to their advantage because what makes us afraid captures our attention, doesn’t it? Look at how many news headlines are meant to instill fear. Here are some examples:
“Police say NJ man kept girlfriend locked in room for years”
“Chinese serial killer shot dead after massive manhunt”
“’Corpse’ floating down river causes scene”
“Record-setting python found in Florida”
“Mysterious radioactive sinkhole in Louisiana”
“Consumer Confidence Improves, but Dark Clouds Loom”
We often don’t admit to ourselves that we are afraid. We deny it or pretend it doesn’t bother us. We might be concerned that if we acknowledged our fears, they would overwhelm us in their intensity. This then becomes a fear of being afraid – a double whammy. So instead we “zone out” and numb ourselves to the underlying fear we have.
Here’s a list of common fears that people have – can you relate to any of these?
- Fear of being alone, fear of abandonment
- Fear of change, fear of not being in control
- Fear of the dark
- Fear of dying, fear of death, fear of pain/illness
- Fear of failure
- Fear of heights, fear of falling, fear of flying
- Fear of intimacy, fear of commitment
- Fear of public speaking
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of spiders, snakes, dogs or other creatures
- Fear of the unknown, fear of the unseen
I hate Fear. Fear is not a friendly foe. Fear causes you to freeze, to feel controlled or manipulated, to be unable to move forward in your life. Fear causes you to hesitate or withdraw. I hate Fear – it is a tormentor from as far back as I can remember.
There is hope though! I don’t want to leave you in despair. Once I made the decision to no longer tolerate Fear in my life, I learned some wonderful things that helped me get rid of it. But first I had to recognize the ways it was holding me back. Then I had to believe there was a better way – that I COULD be free from fear. Finally, I had to get mad and decide to reject its power in my life. That was the most freeing step of all.
I am happy to say that now, I really am pretty fearless. I am confident and at peace most of the time. In fact, sometimes other people are intimidated by me because of my confidence. (It’s funny how that works – people who are less secure are intimidated by confidence.)
I want people to be free of fear because I see how much it hurts them. I know how much it hurt me – until I decided to become free.
So, if you’re curious and you want to find freedom from fear, start paying attention to it in your life. When are you afraid? Admit it. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Are you ready to do something about it?
If so, I’ve got a simple little exercise on my website that has helped many people find freedom from fear. No, it’s not a “cure all”, but it sure does help. Getting rid of fear is a process and it takes work. It seems we have “layers” of fear – what a concept.
If you’d like help with overcoming your fears, contact me for coaching. I’ll help you. Maybe what I’ve learned can help you and encourage you in your journey. You can contact me through my website http://destinysfreedom.com.
Here’s to your freedom!