So many of us hide behind a “persona”. This is our “acceptable” side, the face we show others, regardless of how we may really be feeling inside.
I see this all the time in public settings. Two people greet each other,
“Hi. How ya doing?”
“Great! And you?”
“Couldn’t be better. See ya later.”
“Yep. See you.”
This could happen in the hallway at work or when you pass a coworker’s office. I see it happen in the lobby of churches and fitness centers. Anywhere that people interact on a surface level – just being friendly and polite. We’re all doing “great”.
Except that we aren’t really, are we?
Well, maybe we are on some days. But you know that there’s often something “not great” stirring just below the surface.
Then there’s friends. A friend asks, “How are you?” And we should be honest, right? Have you noticed how rare it is that someone asks that question and then actually waits to hear the answer? If you say, “Um, okay. I guess.” There’s no pause – they jump in and start talking about whatever it is they wanted to tell you. So, the real you, the one that no one sees, doesn’t come out. The “I’m okay” persona has spoken and everyone assumes you really are okay.
We live our lives trying to measure up to everyone else’s expectations. We create “personas” for the different environments we live in – our home life, work life, social life, etc. Each persona has been carefully crafted to make sure that we say the right things, in the right way at the right time. It works to keep our lives moving along smoothly.
Except for one thing.
Nobody knows who we really are, maybe not even us … and that’s lonely. Even if we are “accepted” at home, at work and in our social relationships, it still feels “empty”. Because we think, “If they knew who I really was, deep down, would they still like me?”
To be loved you’ve got to be real. When people love the “persona” you’ve created, do they love the real you? No, they don’t know the real you. Why? Because you’ve never taken off the mask and shown them the real you. It’s not their fault. Creating that persona was your choice, your coping mechanism to feel accepted, to fit in.
I want to encourage you today to start being real. It’s worth it to take the step to be real so you can be really loved. Yes, some won’t like it. But there will be others who will. I promise. When you are real, the right people are drawn to you – other people who value being real. And then honest relationships develop – ones based on reality, not fantasy.
It is tremendously freeing to be real. No more fake masks. True Freedom to be who you really are inside. So few are that courageous.
Then when someone loves you, they love the REAL you and you will really FEEL loved. It’s truly worth it to experience that kind of love. It’s what we all secretly long for.
“… once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand… once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.” ― The Velveteen Rabbit
Be Real to Be Loved – it’s something your heart is longing for.
Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.