Last month, I shared a list of statements that helped to define Powerful People versus Powerless People. You can read the post here: Are You Powerful or Powerless?
This month, I want to continue this discussion. It is very easy to fall into the trap of “rescuing” a powerless person. Especially if you are a resourceful, helping kind of person and if it is someone you love (i.e. your partner, spouse, mother, father, sibling, best friend, etc.)
Ask yourself these questions from time to time – it will help you stay healthy in your relationships.
Am I taking on too much responsibility?
Am I becoming resentful of them for “making me” take on these responsibilities?
Am I ignoring how they treat me if it is disrespectful or inconsiderate?
Am I ignoring my needs and desires in order to “help” them?
Am I afraid that if I don’t do a certain thing, they will blowup, leave or make a scene?
Am I lying/misrepresenting the truth to “cover” for them?
Am I blaming myself or someone else for this problem (when it’s clearly their responsibility)?
Am I offering to help them without being asked?
It is actually a sign of being a Powerless person when you rescue others. It enables them to continue to be powerless and dependent while it makes you feel temporarily powerful. But it’s not real power. It’s an unhealthy dependence.
I have found these questions helpful in my own relationships. It’s so easy to see a need and try to “help”. But sometimes it becomes an unhealthy pattern that drains your energy and makes you resentful.
Have you ever experienced that? Feel free to share your comments below.
If you discover that you are “stuck” in a relationship that has this unhealthy pattern of “rescuing” a powerless person in your life, I can help you with that. Many, many people confess to me that this is happening in 1 or more relationships in their life. It can be hard to break a lifetime of what seems like a “good” thing. You may feel guilty about wanting to break the pattern – especially if you’ve been “helping” for a long time. But eventually the bad feelings that this pattern creates start to catch up to you and life becomes gray. You might even get depressed, especially if you feel that nothing will ever change. Contact me – I’d like to help you before it gets that bad. Call me at 305-781-6229 or send me an email at DestinysFreedom.com