Destiny's calling – it's time to answer! / / Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Posts tagged ‘anxiety’

False Evidence Appearing Real

Anxiety – we have all felt this before. It can be mildly annoying or downright paralyzing. The underlying emotion behind anxiety is fear, though many people are not consciously aware of it. I think of Anxiety as “Fear without Focus”. It’s a general feeling of being unsettled, of not feeling confident or secure.

One way to combat anxiety is to acknowledge and confront the fear behind it. Next time you feel anxious, say this statement to yourself, “I’m afraid that ….” You’ll be surprised at how many things come to mind. For instance, before a job interview – I’m afraid that I won’t get the job, I’m afraid they’ll ask me something and I won’t know what to say, I’m afraid I won’t make a good impression, I’m afraid of being rejected, etc. Try it the next time you feel anxious – it will help you identify the fear.

Q37 Look for Proof

 False Evidence Appearing Real

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Very often our fears are based on something that is not entirely true. Our mind jumps to the conclusion that something will go wrong so we become anxious. Once you have identified your fear, then look for proof. Very often you cannot prove that your fear will happen – in fact, most of what we worry about NEVER happens. It’s a waste of mental and emotional energy – it’s very distracting and it saps your creativity.

Instead, turn the statements around and say the opposite of your fears. For instance, before a job interview – I might be offered this job, but if not, then it wasn’t the right job for me. The right job will come at the right time. If I don’t know what to say, I’ll take a minute to compose my thoughts. Something will come to me. I’ll make a good impression because I’ve prepared for this interview – I’m skilled and I can add value to this company. If I don’t get this job, it doesn’t mean I’m being rejected – it’s just business, it’s not personal.

When you speak the TRUTH to your Fears, the anxiety literally vanishes! You can feel it drain from your body and your adrenalin reduces. Take a few deep breaths slowly and hold your breath while you count to 5. This increases the amount of oxygen in your system and your mind will begin to clear. When we get anxious, we tend to take shallow breaths which then makes our thinking a little foggy, which leads to more anxiety. Take a deep breath, speak the Truth to your Fears and watch Anxiety run away!

By the way, it might feel like a battle the first time you try this. Our minds are used to jumping to negative conclusions. It takes some practice to learn how to slow down and speak the truth to yourself. Practice every time you feel a little anxious. It will really help when you need it most – I promise! It gets easier – your brain learns to do this process almost automatically after a while.

If you’d like some help learning how to do this, please contact me. I’d love to help you! I have spent years learning how to cultivate peace and now it is my standard operating environment. In fact, I am known for the peace I carry – people say they can literally feel it in my presence and hear it in my voice. It’s worth it to learn how to dissipate anxiety and fear so you can enjoy peace too – I’ll show you how! 🙂

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If you REALLY want to get free of the fear in your life, I highly recommend the Fear Finder exercise. It’s published in both of my books and it’s posted on my website here. It has helped me SO MUCH!! It only takes 5-10 minutes to do and it seems like every time I do it, I get a little free-er! I love that! ♥ If you want to do the exercise with me, I recorded in on YouTubehere.

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real

Q37 Look for Proof

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real – Look for Proof!

Most of us think our thoughts are accurate. We trust our own thinking so much that we do not think to question our own thoughts.

That’s why I love this statement – FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Often when we are afraid, it is not based on reality. It is based on assumptions and on inaccurate information.

When my clients express a fear, I ask them for proof. They pause, stammer a minute and then realize that they don’t have any. We are so used to just believing everything that comes to our minds that we lose the ability to examine what is at the root of our fears. I don’t want them to look silly (being unable to prove that their fear is based on reality), but at the same time, I want to teach them to question their assumptions.

For instance, a lady came to me once and said she wanted to become a confident communicator. She was afraid to start conversations at parties because she didn’t feel confident. We worked on some communication skills to help build her confidence. She improved and was ready to try out her new skills. However, she still felt afraid of “looking dumb”.

So, I asked her to prove it to me. “Are you dumb?” I asked. She gave me a shocked expression and said, “No, of course not!” Then I asked her if she had ever had trouble in school due to learning difficulties or speech impediments that made her “feel dumb” among other children. She said no.

“So how would you “look dumb” in conversation?” I asked her. I wanted her to figure out exactly what her fear was. What she realized was that “looking dumb” was a judgment. She was afraid that either someone else would judge what she had to say as “dumb” or she would think what she said was “dumb”. So we worked on these specific things. First, you cannot control other people’s judgment of you. She had to let that go. For her, the primary issue was judging herself as “dumb”. We did some work on that – to learn self-acceptance and self-compassion. And her fear melted away.

The next time she went to a social gathering, she emailed me to tell me how smoothly it went. She successfully started several conversation with strangers and acquaintances and never once did she “look dumb” in her estimation. Success!

Take some time to examine your fears. Can you find proof that what you imagine will happen actually has a good chance of happening? And if it does, then what? When we break down our fears, often we discover that they are based on a fuzzy sense of logic. By breaking them down, we can overcome them.

Try it and let me know how it works for you! ♥

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

You can be as FREE as ….

Q26 Free as you WANT to be3
“You can be as FREE as you WANT to be. What does that look like for YOU?” – Sandy Walker

What would it look like to be FREE to really be yourself? With no excuses or explanations – just YOU, wonderful, beautiful YOU!

Most people are too afraid to be themselves. I talk to people every day in my coaching practice who tell me they are afraid to be themselves with others. They feel “lost” or like no one loves them – because no one really KNOWS them. And why? Because they won’t let anyone see the real person inside.

You really can be as free as you WANT to be – but it takes work. I know – I’ve done a LOT of that kind of work myself … personally. I used to be terrified to let people see the real me – what if they didn’t like me?

Guess what? It doesn’t matter. What really matters is if YOU like you. Then anyone else’s opinion is just that – THEIR opinion. I trust myself more than I trust anyone else and I like me.

Can you say that about yourself?

If not, contact me. I’ll help you. I’ve been there – I know how miserable it feels to be unknown and to feel unloved. I’ll listen and together we’ll figure out how to overcome the obstacles that prevent you from being known and feeling loved. It’s a LOT easier when you have someone by your side to help you.

Give me a call 305-781-6229. I can work with anyone by phone. Most people experience a significant breakthrough within just 4 sessions. Why not YOU? 🙂

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Rebel Against Fear!

Q25 Rebel Against Fear
Rebel Against Fear! – Sandy Walker

We often are encouraged to Rebel against things that are trying to control us. When we are teenagers, we rebel against teachers, parents and people in positions of authority.

Why not Rebel against Fear?! Fear tries to control you. Fear controls a lot of the decisions you make. Think about it. What would your life look like if you had no fear?

Next time you feel a little anxious or you are downright frightened, don’t cower – reject it instead! Don’t let Fear control your destiny. It has no right. Tell it where to go!

Be fearless today – you deserve it. 🙂

What you worry about today . . .

Q23 What you worry about

“What you worry about today, YOU WON’T EVEN REMEMBER this time next year.” – Sandy Walker

You know – this is really true. Can you remember what you were worrying about this time last year? Nope, probably not. Most of our consuming worries, the ones that keep us up at night, are really just momentary troubles.

This quote helps keep your perspective – just let it go. It’s not as big a deal as you think it is. Trust me on this. 🙂 ♥

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LET GO OR BE DRAGGED

Q14 Let Go
LET GO OR BE DRAGGED

Need I say more? It’s all about control ….
Just let go. Your heart will thank you! ♥

Just BE and Be at peace

Q13 Don't Do Just Be

DON’T DO: Just BE and be at peace …

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