Destiny's calling – it's time to answer!

Posts tagged ‘coaching’

Got Mental Weeds?

Garden of thoughts

“I can do it!”
“I have what it takes.”
“I am a good person.”
Personal affirmations like the ones above are touted by most self-help gurus. They tell us to say these things to ourselves every day, emphasizing that you should look in the mirror when you say them.

I’m not knocking that – positive affirmations are definitely better than what most of us hear in our heads. Things like …
“How could you say something so stupid?”
“I’ll never make it. I’m a failure.”

Those gurus tell us that if we monitor our negative “self-talk” and replace it with positive affirmations, our lives will change dramatically.

The problem is – it doesn’t usually work so well. Your mind says, “Who are you kidding? You think saying these statements is going to magically make them true?” The words feel empty – lacking the power of transformation.

So what can be done? I discovered a few years ago that part of the reason why positive affirmations don’t work very well is that the negative statements we believe about ourselves are anchored by emotional experiences. As long as the emotional anchor is still there, no amount of pretty words is going to remove it.

In many cases, those negative statements were said to us when we were emotionally vulnerable – by someone we admired or loved (i.e. parent, teacher, coach). Sometimes we said them to ourselves when we felt rejected by someone else.

We’ve got to deal with the emotional anchor – the memory of the pain – before we can let go of the negative statement and replace it with a positive one. I am amazed that a lot of self-help books skip this part. It is critical to successful transformation!

Action step: In order to remove the negative statement you believe about yourself, you’ve got to get to the root. Just like in gardening, if you cut a weed at the base but leave the roots in the ground, guess what will happen? The weed will grow back – just like those negative thoughts. You have to dig into the dirt and pull the weed up by the roots. What’s nice is that when you do that, it leaves a little hole for the new seed to be planted. That’s where the positive affirmation comes in.

I have an exercise in my book called the Lie Detector. It can be used to “uproot” those negative statements you believe. It involves forgiving the person who caused you pain when they said those statements about you – sometimes that person was you.

If you’d like some help with the gardening process, please give me a call! I’d love to help you pull some weeds so you have space to grow beautiful flowers. What you plant will grow – the choice is YOURS. Contact me

Flowers from my Garden

What do you wish you were free from?

What do you wish you were free from?

What bothers you the most about your life? Are you anxious all the time? Do you feel a little awkward in social settings?

Do you wish you had more confidence?

Do you feel inadequate at work? In your romantic relationship? As a parent?

Where do you sense that you just don’t “measure up”?

I have been working with people for many years – helping them find freedom from what stands in their way. What’s bothering you? What’s holding you back from moving forward with your life?

Are you having a hard time in letting go of the past? Do you wish you could just move on with your life?

Working with a Freedom Coach can help!

What benefits can you receive from freedom coaching?

– a safe place to process your thoughts, without fear of judgment

– confidentiality in handling personal matters

– expert advice, if requested

– unconditional acceptance and support

– insight to help you identify and remove obstacles that may be holding you back

– a sounding board for new ideas you are considering

Talking to a Freedom Coach is like having a best friend and an expert all in one. Someone who will listen to you objectively and then will help you decide what is best for YOU. A Freedom Coach has no vested interest in your issues (as opposed to a friend or family member who wants you to do what THEY think is best). A Freedom Coach listens carefully, reflects back to you what she hears you saying and then presents various options you could choose in making the right decision for YOU. You decide what’s best for you – no one makes this decision for you.

When talking things over with friends and family, you may often feel pressured to do what they want you to do. You may not feel free to really say what you are thinking or feeling because you know they won’t agree or might not understand. A Freedom Coach is a neutral party – she is not overly concerned about how you live your life – she will give you the freedom to make your own choices.


How is coaching different from therapy?

A  Freedom Coach works with people who are mentally healthy. Clients are able to cope with day to day life – they work or go to school, etc. They are handling life, but they want something MORE. They are dissatisfied and want to find fulfillment in some area of life. They might be unhappy in their marriage/relationship, they might be interested in a new career or they may need support in dealing with family conflicts. Often they are convinced that life could be better for them if they just got some help. That’s where a  Freedom Coach comes in.

I’ve been helping people for over 20 years find freedom from whatever they want freedom from. It’s not that hard, but it may feel overwhelming to try and do it yourself. Having a coach gives you the support you need to make the changes you KNOW you want to make.

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website My rates are reasonable – you’ll be surprised how affordable it is!

Have a great day!

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