Destiny's calling – it's time to answer! / / Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Posts tagged ‘fear’

False Evidence Appearing Real

Anxiety – we have all felt this before. It can be mildly annoying or downright paralyzing. The underlying emotion behind anxiety is fear, though many people are not consciously aware of it. I think of Anxiety as “Fear without Focus”. It’s a general feeling of being unsettled, of not feeling confident or secure.

One way to combat anxiety is to acknowledge and confront the fear behind it. Next time you feel anxious, say this statement to yourself, “I’m afraid that ….” You’ll be surprised at how many things come to mind. For instance, before a job interview – I’m afraid that I won’t get the job, I’m afraid they’ll ask me something and I won’t know what to say, I’m afraid I won’t make a good impression, I’m afraid of being rejected, etc. Try it the next time you feel anxious – it will help you identify the fear.

Q37 Look for Proof

 False Evidence Appearing Real

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Very often our fears are based on something that is not entirely true. Our mind jumps to the conclusion that something will go wrong so we become anxious. Once you have identified your fear, then look for proof. Very often you cannot prove that your fear will happen – in fact, most of what we worry about NEVER happens. It’s a waste of mental and emotional energy – it’s very distracting and it saps your creativity.

Instead, turn the statements around and say the opposite of your fears. For instance, before a job interview – I might be offered this job, but if not, then it wasn’t the right job for me. The right job will come at the right time. If I don’t know what to say, I’ll take a minute to compose my thoughts. Something will come to me. I’ll make a good impression because I’ve prepared for this interview – I’m skilled and I can add value to this company. If I don’t get this job, it doesn’t mean I’m being rejected – it’s just business, it’s not personal.

When you speak the TRUTH to your Fears, the anxiety literally vanishes! You can feel it drain from your body and your adrenalin reduces. Take a few deep breaths slowly and hold your breath while you count to 5. This increases the amount of oxygen in your system and your mind will begin to clear. When we get anxious, we tend to take shallow breaths which then makes our thinking a little foggy, which leads to more anxiety. Take a deep breath, speak the Truth to your Fears and watch Anxiety run away!

By the way, it might feel like a battle the first time you try this. Our minds are used to jumping to negative conclusions. It takes some practice to learn how to slow down and speak the truth to yourself. Practice every time you feel a little anxious. It will really help when you need it most – I promise! It gets easier – your brain learns to do this process almost automatically after a while.

If you’d like some help learning how to do this, please contact me. I’d love to help you! I have spent years learning how to cultivate peace and now it is my standard operating environment. In fact, I am known for the peace I carry – people say they can literally feel it in my presence and hear it in my voice. It’s worth it to learn how to dissipate anxiety and fear so you can enjoy peace too – I’ll show you how! 🙂

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If you REALLY want to get free of the fear in your life, I highly recommend the Fear Finder exercise. It’s published in both of my books and it’s posted on my website here. It has helped me SO MUCH!! It only takes 5-10 minutes to do and it seems like every time I do it, I get a little free-er! I love that! ♥ If you want to do the exercise with me, I recorded in on YouTubehere.

Are You Inside Out?

If you haven’t seen the new animation by Disney called Inside Out, I highly recommend that you watch it. It has some terrific lessons about managing our emotions. You’ll laugh, you may cry and you’ll nod in understanding. The writers did a great job of capturing what it is like to be human.

The primary theme of the movie is that we need ALL our emotions, not just the positive ones. We live in a society that pressures us to “have it all together” which somehow means being happy, successful and never showing sadness, fear or anger publicly. Why? Who decided this standard? Why do we resist expressing negative emotions – does this standard imply they are invalid? Certainly not!

It’s important to validate your emotions – it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be afraid. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. We can spend so much energy ignoring or pushing down our emotions that it wears us out emotionally. I’ve heard people say, “I’m just so tired.” They are tired of pretending everything is okay. Why not try a different route? VALIDATION

Action step: Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. If they come up in a place where you don’t want to express them (i.e. at work), then give yourself a chance to express them later. Make a point of telling yourself, “It’s okay to be sad.” (or angry or fearful or whatever emotion you may be feeling). Express the emotion and then let it go. Don’t wallow in it until it consumes you. Find the truth in what you are feeling – are you angry because you experienced something unjust? Are you sad because someone disappointed you? Putting words to what you are experiencing can help you get a handle on what to do, if anything, about the situation that caused your emotional reaction. Validating your right to feel your emotions is very freeing and powerful. I challenge you to try it for yourself – let me know how it goes!

Emotional Freedom

Emotional Freedom is my specialty – I’m a Freedom Coach. I help people learn how to manage their emotions and clear out any blocked feelings. Sometimes you can feel “stuck” emotionally – I can help you get unstuck. For years I felt overwhelmed by negative emotions and I didn’t know what to do. I spent a lot of time and money finding answers. Now I have LOTS of Peace and Joy. I’ve learned how to manage fear, anger and disappointment so that they don’t rule my life anymore. If you’d like to learn how to do this, I would love to help you. It’s so much easier to learn this when you have a coach by your side, helping you grow and understand what is happening inside of you. You don’t have to do it alone – I’ll help you! Call me 305-781-6229 or email me at swalker@destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Fear is a WIMP!

Q38 Fear is a Wimp

Fear is a WIMP! Refuse to let it push YOU around!

Most people are amazed that Fear is actually very easy to overcome. It feels so paralyzing when it has you in its clutches. But the surprise is – when you confront your fear, it turns out to be a wimp! It doesn’t have any substance. See my previous post about this.

Most of what we fear or worry about never comes to pass.

Try it – confront a fear you have and see if it sticks around. Just like a bully, once you look Fear in the face and say, “Leave me alone!” with authority in your voice, it will back off. Fear is afraid to be challenged – it’s greatest power is in deceiving you into thinking it has more power than it really does.

Stand up to Fear – don’t let it push you around!

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real

Q37 Look for Proof

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real – Look for Proof!

Most of us think our thoughts are accurate. We trust our own thinking so much that we do not think to question our own thoughts.

That’s why I love this statement – FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Often when we are afraid, it is not based on reality. It is based on assumptions and on inaccurate information.

When my clients express a fear, I ask them for proof. They pause, stammer a minute and then realize that they don’t have any. We are so used to just believing everything that comes to our minds that we lose the ability to examine what is at the root of our fears. I don’t want them to look silly (being unable to prove that their fear is based on reality), but at the same time, I want to teach them to question their assumptions.

For instance, a lady came to me once and said she wanted to become a confident communicator. She was afraid to start conversations at parties because she didn’t feel confident. We worked on some communication skills to help build her confidence. She improved and was ready to try out her new skills. However, she still felt afraid of “looking dumb”.

So, I asked her to prove it to me. “Are you dumb?” I asked. She gave me a shocked expression and said, “No, of course not!” Then I asked her if she had ever had trouble in school due to learning difficulties or speech impediments that made her “feel dumb” among other children. She said no.

“So how would you “look dumb” in conversation?” I asked her. I wanted her to figure out exactly what her fear was. What she realized was that “looking dumb” was a judgment. She was afraid that either someone else would judge what she had to say as “dumb” or she would think what she said was “dumb”. So we worked on these specific things. First, you cannot control other people’s judgment of you. She had to let that go. For her, the primary issue was judging herself as “dumb”. We did some work on that – to learn self-acceptance and self-compassion. And her fear melted away.

The next time she went to a social gathering, she emailed me to tell me how smoothly it went. She successfully started several conversation with strangers and acquaintances and never once did she “look dumb” in her estimation. Success!

Take some time to examine your fears. Can you find proof that what you imagine will happen actually has a good chance of happening? And if it does, then what? When we break down our fears, often we discover that they are based on a fuzzy sense of logic. By breaking them down, we can overcome them.

Try it and let me know how it works for you! ♥

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Things can CHANGE for the better – I promise!

Q30 Things CAN change
“Things can CHANGE for the better – I promise!” – Sandy Walker

They really CAN change. I’ve seen it happen many, many times. If you are willing to adjust and make different choices, then things will change.

If you’d like some support in making some changes in your life, please let me know. Or if you want things to change for the better, but you don’t know how to start, that’s definitely something I can help you with. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

You can be as FREE as ….

Q26 Free as you WANT to be3
“You can be as FREE as you WANT to be. What does that look like for YOU?” – Sandy Walker

What would it look like to be FREE to really be yourself? With no excuses or explanations – just YOU, wonderful, beautiful YOU!

Most people are too afraid to be themselves. I talk to people every day in my coaching practice who tell me they are afraid to be themselves with others. They feel “lost” or like no one loves them – because no one really KNOWS them. And why? Because they won’t let anyone see the real person inside.

You really can be as free as you WANT to be – but it takes work. I know – I’ve done a LOT of that kind of work myself … personally. I used to be terrified to let people see the real me – what if they didn’t like me?

Guess what? It doesn’t matter. What really matters is if YOU like you. Then anyone else’s opinion is just that – THEIR opinion. I trust myself more than I trust anyone else and I like me.

Can you say that about yourself?

If not, contact me. I’ll help you. I’ve been there – I know how miserable it feels to be unknown and to feel unloved. I’ll listen and together we’ll figure out how to overcome the obstacles that prevent you from being known and feeling loved. It’s a LOT easier when you have someone by your side to help you.

Give me a call 305-781-6229. I can work with anyone by phone. Most people experience a significant breakthrough within just 4 sessions. Why not YOU? 🙂

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Rebel Against Fear!

Q25 Rebel Against Fear
Rebel Against Fear! – Sandy Walker

We often are encouraged to Rebel against things that are trying to control us. When we are teenagers, we rebel against teachers, parents and people in positions of authority.

Why not Rebel against Fear?! Fear tries to control you. Fear controls a lot of the decisions you make. Think about it. What would your life look like if you had no fear?

Next time you feel a little anxious or you are downright frightened, don’t cower – reject it instead! Don’t let Fear control your destiny. It has no right. Tell it where to go!

Be fearless today – you deserve it. 🙂

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