Destiny's calling – it's time to answer!

Posts tagged ‘freedom’

False Evidence Appearing Real

Anxiety – we have all felt this before. It can be mildly annoying or downright paralyzing. The underlying emotion behind anxiety is fear, though many people are not consciously aware of it. I think of Anxiety as “Fear without Focus”. It’s a general feeling of being unsettled, of not feeling confident or secure.

One way to combat anxiety is to acknowledge and confront the fear behind it. Next time you feel anxious, say this statement to yourself, “I’m afraid that ….” You’ll be surprised at how many things come to mind. For instance, before a job interview – I’m afraid that I won’t get the job, I’m afraid they’ll ask me something and I won’t know what to say, I’m afraid I won’t make a good impression, I’m afraid of being rejected, etc. Try it the next time you feel anxious – it will help you identify the fear.

Q37 Look for Proof

 False Evidence Appearing Real

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Very often our fears are based on something that is not entirely true. Our mind jumps to the conclusion that something will go wrong so we become anxious. Once you have identified your fear, then look for proof. Very often you cannot prove that your fear will happen – in fact, most of what we worry about NEVER happens. It’s a waste of mental and emotional energy – it’s very distracting and it saps your creativity.

Instead, turn the statements around and say the opposite of your fears. For instance, before a job interview – I might be offered this job, but if not, then it wasn’t the right job for me. The right job will come at the right time. If I don’t know what to say, I’ll take a minute to compose my thoughts. Something will come to me. I’ll make a good impression because I’ve prepared for this interview – I’m skilled and I can add value to this company. If I don’t get this job, it doesn’t mean I’m being rejected – it’s just business, it’s not personal.

When you speak the TRUTH to your Fears, the anxiety literally vanishes! You can feel it drain from your body and your adrenalin reduces. Take a few deep breaths slowly and hold your breath while you count to 5. This increases the amount of oxygen in your system and your mind will begin to clear. When we get anxious, we tend to take shallow breaths which then makes our thinking a little foggy, which leads to more anxiety. Take a deep breath, speak the Truth to your Fears and watch Anxiety run away!

By the way, it might feel like a battle the first time you try this. Our minds are used to jumping to negative conclusions. It takes some practice to learn how to slow down and speak the truth to yourself. Practice every time you feel a little anxious. It will really help when you need it most – I promise! It gets easier – your brain learns to do this process almost automatically after a while.

If you’d like some help learning how to do this, please contact me. I’d love to help you! I have spent years learning how to cultivate peace and now it is my standard operating environment. In fact, I am known for the peace I carry – people say they can literally feel it in my presence and hear it in my voice. It’s worth it to learn how to dissipate anxiety and fear so you can enjoy peace too – I’ll show you how! 🙂

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If you REALLY want to get free of the fear in your life, I highly recommend the Fear Finder exercise. It’s published in both of my books and it’s posted on my website here. It has helped me SO MUCH!! It only takes 5-10 minutes to do and it seems like every time I do it, I get a little free-er! I love that! ♥ If you want to do the exercise with me, I recorded in on YouTubehere.

Are You Inside Out?

If you haven’t seen the new animation by Disney called Inside Out, I highly recommend that you watch it. It has some terrific lessons about managing our emotions. You’ll laugh, you may cry and you’ll nod in understanding. The writers did a great job of capturing what it is like to be human.

The primary theme of the movie is that we need ALL our emotions, not just the positive ones. We live in a society that pressures us to “have it all together” which somehow means being happy, successful and never showing sadness, fear or anger publicly. Why? Who decided this standard? Why do we resist expressing negative emotions – does this standard imply they are invalid? Certainly not!

It’s important to validate your emotions – it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be afraid. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. We can spend so much energy ignoring or pushing down our emotions that it wears us out emotionally. I’ve heard people say, “I’m just so tired.” They are tired of pretending everything is okay. Why not try a different route? VALIDATION

Action step: Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. If they come up in a place where you don’t want to express them (i.e. at work), then give yourself a chance to express them later. Make a point of telling yourself, “It’s okay to be sad.” (or angry or fearful or whatever emotion you may be feeling). Express the emotion and then let it go. Don’t wallow in it until it consumes you. Find the truth in what you are feeling – are you angry because you experienced something unjust? Are you sad because someone disappointed you? Putting words to what you are experiencing can help you get a handle on what to do, if anything, about the situation that caused your emotional reaction. Validating your right to feel your emotions is very freeing and powerful. I challenge you to try it for yourself – let me know how it goes!

Emotional Freedom

Emotional Freedom is my specialty – I’m a Freedom Coach. I help people learn how to manage their emotions and clear out any blocked feelings. Sometimes you can feel “stuck” emotionally – I can help you get unstuck. For years I felt overwhelmed by negative emotions and I didn’t know what to do. I spent a lot of time and money finding answers. Now I have LOTS of Peace and Joy. I’ve learned how to manage fear, anger and disappointment so that they don’t rule my life anymore. If you’d like to learn how to do this, I would love to help you. It’s so much easier to learn this when you have a coach by your side, helping you grow and understand what is happening inside of you. You don’t have to do it alone – I’ll help you! Call me 305-781-6229 or email me at swalker@destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Be Authentic – It’s very powerful!

Q54 Authentic is Priceless

This came to me the other night.

Just by being authentic … by being “REAL” and not fake or pretending to be something you aren’t makes a HUGE impact on those around you.

People sense authenticity. You can tell when someone is “real”, can’t you?

Somehow when you are with someone who is authentic – it frees you up. It gives you permission to just be YOU.

Since they aren’t pretending, that means they have accepted themselves. They are not trying to put on a show to get you to like them. They like who they are.

And somehow that self-acceptance translates to being free to be yourself with them.

And THAT is priceless.

The world is full of people trying to impress others – trying to fit in, to be accepted.

Rare are the ones who have stopped playing the game and have decided to simply accept themselves. With those folks, it does not matter whether you look right, talk right or even act right. You are allowed to just “be” – no performing.

What a priceless gift that is.

Thank you, Friend, for showing me that the other day.

Freeing Nature of Forgiveness

Free as you WANT to be

A friend just posted this on Facebook and tagged me – Wow! What a great article on the Power of Forgiveness. I’ll summarize what it said because it is worth sharing – you can read the entire article here.

Life-Freeing Nature of Forgiveness by Joshua Becker

Learning to forgive others releases burden and brings freedom back to our heart. It results in less stress, less hostility, lower blood pressure, and reduced symptoms of depression. It provides the opportunity to live a simplified life on the outside and the inside.

To experience the life-giving nature of forgiveness, try putting into practice these six steps each time you are hurt by another person.

1. Admit that you have needed forgiveness in the past. We all make mistakes. We’ve all hurt other people in the past. One of the key steps in being able to practice the power of forgiveness is to realize that you have needed forgiveness at some point in your life too. When we are able to humbly admit that we have needed forgiveness from another, we are in a better position to offer forgiveness to someone who has hurt us.

2. Understand what forgiveness is not. You were wronged. Don’t minimize the offense by pretending it didn’t happen. Granted, if you were hurt accidentally, you only need to show patience. But if you were hurt intentionally, you’ll need to accept that fact and show forgiveness.

3. Realize the difference between forgiveness and trust. One of the most misunderstood aspects of forgiveness is when it is confused with trust. Depending on the nature of the offense, your ability to trust has been deeply compromised. Forgiving somebody does not mean that you need to restore that relationship without changes. Remember that forgiveness can be instant, but trust must be built over a period of time. Realize the difference. While offering forgiveness brings freedom, being wise about trust can protect your heart in the future.

4. Give up your right to get even. Too many people live life keeping score. They keep a mental list of people who have wronged them in the past and live their life looking for opportunities to get even. Forgiveness provides the opportunity to erase the list and to release your heart from the burden of revenge.

5. Choose to respond with kindness. Anyone can respond to evil with evil. But only the strong can respond with good. Kindness breaks the cycle. It can bring freedom to your soul and release your life from the never-ending, downward cycle of responding to evil with evil.

6. Repeat the process as needed. As long as you live your life in relationship with others, you are going to be wronged. Accept the fact that nobody is perfect and be prepared to repeat the process above as needed.

If you are harboring resentment towards another human being because of past hurts, choose to forgive and move on. The harm was their fault. But allowing it to weigh down your life today is yours.

Joshua has a great website at http://www.becomingminimalist.com/ – I encourage you to check it out!

TRUTH BRINGS FREEDOM

Q41 Truth brings Freedom

TRUTH BRINGS FREEDOM

It just does. Need I say more? Tell the truth – it will set you free. Listen to the truth – it will set you free. Be the truth – set others free.

It’s pretty simple. Lies (the opposite of truth) ensnare you like a spider’s web. If you want to be free – live the truth you know. Listen to the truth that resonates with you. Be the truth that others need to see/hear.

Destiny’s calling … It’s TIME to answer

Q40 Destiny's calling

Destiny’s calling … It’s TIME to answer

Go ahead … answer the call. You know you want to. Just do it!

[Don’t you love the Matrix analogy of life? That’s why I chose Neo for the one answering the call. :)]

If you need help determining what your destiny is, please contact me. That is one of my specialties. I can help you discover what on earth you are here for. It takes a commitment to yourself and to honesty, but it is the best adventure you will ever experience! Go to http://www.destinysfreedom.com

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Fear is a WIMP!

Q38 Fear is a Wimp

Fear is a WIMP! Refuse to let it push YOU around!

Most people are amazed that Fear is actually very easy to overcome. It feels so paralyzing when it has you in its clutches. But the surprise is – when you confront your fear, it turns out to be a wimp! It doesn’t have any substance. See my previous post about this.

Most of what we fear or worry about never comes to pass.

Try it – confront a fear you have and see if it sticks around. Just like a bully, once you look Fear in the face and say, “Leave me alone!” with authority in your voice, it will back off. Fear is afraid to be challenged – it’s greatest power is in deceiving you into thinking it has more power than it really does.

Stand up to Fear – don’t let it push you around!

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real

Q37 Look for Proof

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real – Look for Proof!

Most of us think our thoughts are accurate. We trust our own thinking so much that we do not think to question our own thoughts.

That’s why I love this statement – FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Often when we are afraid, it is not based on reality. It is based on assumptions and on inaccurate information.

When my clients express a fear, I ask them for proof. They pause, stammer a minute and then realize that they don’t have any. We are so used to just believing everything that comes to our minds that we lose the ability to examine what is at the root of our fears. I don’t want them to look silly (being unable to prove that their fear is based on reality), but at the same time, I want to teach them to question their assumptions.

For instance, a lady came to me once and said she wanted to become a confident communicator. She was afraid to start conversations at parties because she didn’t feel confident. We worked on some communication skills to help build her confidence. She improved and was ready to try out her new skills. However, she still felt afraid of “looking dumb”.

So, I asked her to prove it to me. “Are you dumb?” I asked. She gave me a shocked expression and said, “No, of course not!” Then I asked her if she had ever had trouble in school due to learning difficulties or speech impediments that made her “feel dumb” among other children. She said no.

“So how would you “look dumb” in conversation?” I asked her. I wanted her to figure out exactly what her fear was. What she realized was that “looking dumb” was a judgment. She was afraid that either someone else would judge what she had to say as “dumb” or she would think what she said was “dumb”. So we worked on these specific things. First, you cannot control other people’s judgment of you. She had to let that go. For her, the primary issue was judging herself as “dumb”. We did some work on that – to learn self-acceptance and self-compassion. And her fear melted away.

The next time she went to a social gathering, she emailed me to tell me how smoothly it went. She successfully started several conversation with strangers and acquaintances and never once did she “look dumb” in her estimation. Success!

Take some time to examine your fears. Can you find proof that what you imagine will happen actually has a good chance of happening? And if it does, then what? When we break down our fears, often we discover that they are based on a fuzzy sense of logic. By breaking them down, we can overcome them.

Try it and let me know how it works for you! ♥

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Be at peace: Your ♥ will thank you

Q33 Stop Striving

STOP STRIVING! Be at peace: Your heart will thank you!

What does it mean to be free?

Freedom quote Camus

Here’s something to think about …what does does it mean to be free?

You may have seen my tag line, “You can be as FREE as you WANT to be – what does that look like for YOU?” What does freedom mean to you? Some would say it’s freedom from emotional pain, stress or conflict. Others might say it is “freedom to be me” without fear or embarrassment. Many of us enjoy great freedom in the United States – we are not restricted in the type of job we can choose, the type of house or apartment we live in, the place we can drive and visit. We have a lot of external freedom, unlike some countries.

But external freedom only goes so far in helping us find happiness. If you are not free on the inside to enjoy life, then your external freedom doesn’t really mean much to you. I know many people who WISH they could be free from fear, anxiety, rejection, discouragement, stress, disappointment, etc. Are you one of them? Do you know HOW to find freedom from these things? Personal freedom is something only YOU can choose – no one else can do it for you. I am excited that I can be as FREE as I want to be – it’s something I work on every day. I WANT to be free … from stress, worry, feeling anxious, etc. How about you?

Think about your experience of daily life. Which things would you like to be free from? Make a short list. Pick 1 thing from your list and ponder how to become free of it. Making a small change in your daily life can reap BIG rewards.

If you get stuck, contact me for a coaching session to help you find the freedom you want. You’ll be surprised how simple it is to find freedom when you know what steps to take. I’ll help you. 🙂

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

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