Destiny's calling – it's time to answer! / / Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Posts tagged ‘gut instinct’

Listen to your heart

Q28 Listen to Your Heart

Listen to your heart

What does that mean?

It means pay attention when your insides are telling you something. It means not denying how you feel about a person or a situation. It means learning to trust that inner voice, that inner self’s intuition, about people, places and things.

It really makes a big difference in your life whether or not you are listening to your heart.

Those that don’t will suffer. They drown out that inner voice with alcohol, with work, or even with mindless activity like watching tv or surfing the internet. Anything to stay busy, to stay distracted so that they don’t have to pay attention to their thoughts.

And yet, if they would slow down long enough to listen, they might just be surprised by what they hear. It can open new doors. It can reveal truth you really need to hear. It can lead you to the right path, the right job, the right person for your life.

Why DON’T you listen to your heart?

Many of my clients come to me because something is stirring them to listen … but they have forgotten how. Or they doubt what they are hearing and they need someone to help them sort out the conflicting emotions that listening sometimes brings up.

I LOVE to help people listen to their heart. It brings such clarity of purpose and focus to their lives. Your heart can connect you to wellspring of peace and joy. But you have to start with LISTENING … listening closely.

If this is something you’d like some help with, let me know. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

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LET GO OR BE DRAGGED

Q14 Let Go
LET GO OR BE DRAGGED

Need I say more? It’s all about control ….
Just let go. Your heart will thank you! ♥

Being Highly Sensitive – What a revelation!

I am learning about the Highly Sensitive Person – a term coined by Dr. Elaine Aron. Wow – what a revelation! It completely reframes my perspective on life.

What is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? It is someone who is more aware of stimulation to their senses than the average person. About 20% of the population is highly sensitive. Another 22-27% is moderately sensitive whereas about 50% of the population is not sensitive at all.

How do you know if you are an HSP? Are you very aware of things like the temperature in the room? The lighting – either too harsh or too dim? How about sounds – do you notice things other people don’t notice? Or are you jangled when you hear a siren go by whereas others seem to tune it out? How about smells? Tastes?

Another aspect of the HSP is their “knowing” – they have strong intuition and part of their sensitivity makes them vulnerable to other people’s moods or “vibes”. An HSP can often tell instantly when someone is upset, even when the person pretends to be fine.

This is an excellent trait if you have it. It can also make life especially burdensome if you don’t understand why things bother you so much more than others. You might be considered the “party pooper” because loud music, lots of people and bright lights make your head hurt and you want to go home. You might not “fit in” with the rambunctious dance crowd at the club.

However, an HSP makes a great friend, a good partner and an excellent parent. Their sensitivity means they are more tuned into you and what you need. As a parent, they are attentive and can intuitively sense what a child needs. As a partner or friend, they can connect with you at a much deeper level than some of your shallower friends.

In some cultures, sensitivity is highly respected. In America, not so much. We value those that are loud, bold and ready to take on any challenge. Being out in the busy “marketplace” of ideas may be intimidating to an HSP, especially if they have to present them before a large crowd. So they are not often as acknowledged for their depth of insight and understanding. In the right positions though, they will flourish.

One of the key things I am learning about this trait is how much it can make everyday life overwhelming for an HSP. Being overstimulated by your senses really drains you. After a long day at work or even shopping can make you want to isolate and withdraw from all stimulation.

It’s important to know your limits and try to reduce the amount of stimulation you are exposed to before it becomes overwhelming. For some, this might mean changing their job or moving to a quieter neighborhood. It also means knowing when to say “No” in social situations – you don’t have to go to every party. Maybe meeting with just a few friends at home would be more enjoyable than a night out on the town with a crowd.

Pay attention to what drains you. Schedule plenty of “down time” and find out what recharges your batteries. Is it nature? Being quiet? Being alone? Figure it out and make sure you get what you need during each day or week. In time, this gift can really enable you to flourish. The first step is realizing you have it!

Are you an HSP? Take the test online
Wanna know more about this? Check out Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
Click the book cover below to find out more:

If you are an HSP, what do you do to cope? Feel free to comment below. You can also contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Are you part Betazoid? (Empathic)

Star Trek many years ago added a very unique character to their cast – Deanna Troi. She was described as being from Betazed but she was also half-human (her father was human just like us). They called her a Betazoid (Betazed/humanoid). As a result, she had mostly human qualities except for 1 extraordinary gift – she could sense the emotions of others.

As a result of this special talent, she studied Psychology and became the Ship’s Counselor, an official role on the starship Enterprise.

Star Trek Deanna-Troi

As soon as I was introduced to her character, I was intrigued. She was special – unique. She got this cool purple uniform that set her apart as decidely feminine, compared with the staunch, stiff uniforms the other officers wore. In later episodes her uniform was this distinctive layered teal dress. I wish I had one. 🙂
Star Trek Deanna-Troi2

But what drew my attention and kept it was her special gift of being an “empath” – someone who could feel and identify the emotions of others. She didn’t just mentally assess them like a therapist might. She actually FELT what they were feeling and as a result, she had compassion for them. She had a special insight into people and could connect with them because she knew HOW THEY FELT.

Wow! What a gift! And yet, I’m sure there were days where feeling what others around her were feeling might have gotten a little tiresome or overwhelming, especially when the ship was under attack. They never showed her losing her cool or running away. Maybe her quarters had special “shielding” so she could rest when she needed to.

Here’s the question I have for you today – are you part Betazoid? Do you often sense the emotions of others? Do you seem to have an uncanny ability to anticipate the needs of others? Have you ever been told you are a “mind reader” because you seem to know just what someone likes or needs? Do you tend to have a lot of compassion for others, even strangers?

This is a special gift and I want to highlight it today.

In our Western culture where science is king, we tend to minimize anything we cannot see or touch with our five senses. We downplay that “sixth sense” that we are all born with. Some of us have developed that sixth sense more than others. Some are born with it functioning at a higher level than most.

Helen Keller is quoted as saying, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”

This gift of feeling empathy, or feeling others’ feelings, is something to be nurtured and prized. Most who have this gift are not honored for it – instead they are rejected as being “too sensitive” or “difficult” to have around because their sensitivity guides everything they do. They care deeply and they act acordingly.

I know – I am definitely part Betazoid. I FEEL the emotions of those around me – both positive and negative. Yes, it’s a gift, but it has often seemed like a curse. I have to thank Gene Roddenberry for coming up with the character of Deanna Troi because it inspired me that even though I was “different”, it was a good thing. This gift could help others.

Most people have at least a little touch of this “gift”. We call it intuition or having a “gut instinct” about someone or something. Some refer to it as “vibes”. For instance, you can be peacefully minding your own business when suddenly someone walks into the room full of anger or agitation. It “shifts” the atmosphere in the room significantly. We’ve all experienced this before. Studies show that angry people affect those around them without even saying a word. We are all atune to each other’s emotional state whether we are conscious of it or not. Thus the popular family saying, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” meaning that the mom’s emotions affect the entire family’s experience of their home life.

I am highlighting this “gift” today because I often see this struggle in my clients. They are sensitive to others, but they’ve been told they “shouldn’t” be. They sense underlying conflict in a relationship, but they tell themselves they are just “crazy” when in fact, there IS something wrong. They ignore their intuition and later pay the consequences when the “vibes” they got were right and they should have listened to them.

This gift deserves to be validated. Now, that I’ve adjusted my perspective about my own gift, I find that it is a wealth of information that assists me every day. Instead of ignoring it, I act on it and it proves me right over and over. It enables me to be a more caring and compassionate person, a better spouse, a helpful friend. There are many ways this “gift” helps me daily. I encourage you to pay attention to it!

What do you think? Are you part Betazoid? Are you willing to admit your special “gift” exists? Feel free to comment below. You can also contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com. If this is an area you’d like to explore, I’d love to coach you in this gift. It’s really just an added dimension of self-discovery and self-acceptance. ♥

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Overcoming Blocks in Pursuing Your Destiny: Part 2

For those of you who are pressing forward to pursue your destiny or “passionate purpose in life”, here are some pointers of what to do when you encounter a “blockage”. I will post this in parts because it’s a lot to take in.
For those of you just joining us, you can start with Part 1 here.

Last time, we covered Acknowledging and Identifying the Blockage, looking for a Reframe and using Tools to clear the blockage. Today we will continue with:

4. Meditation/Mindfulness – practice this for clarity. Most people I know who successfully follow their destiny have some way to “clear their minds” of all the mental clutter. For some, this is a spiritual practice like meditation or prayer. For others, it is taking deep breaths and being mindful or being fully present. Some of us find this clarity and tranquility while walking on the beach or in the stillness of the woods. Others turn on music that inspires them, that helps them reconnect with their truest self. Whatever works for you, do it.

5. Trust your gut – pay attention, what is it telling you? When there are a lot of emotions involved, sometimes it takes time to “hear” clearly from your gut. Research has shown that there is a very dense concentration of nerves that cover an area of the stomach we refer to as our “gut”. It is almost as complex as the nerves in your brain. Some have said this is your “second brain” to help you make wise decisions. I have a specific exercise to help my clients listen to their gut and identify what it is saying to you. If you need help with this, read this post.

6. Consciously Relinquish Control. Keep telling yourself, “I am not in control. It is what it is. Let it go.” Saying it out loud helps too. Part of following your destiny is realizing you are not in control of the process. When you think you are, you develop a false sense of responsibility – this adds to your stress. Stress blocks you from BEING who you are – which is the key to your destiny. So, avoid stress at all costs. One way to do that is to remind yourself that you are not in control of the process. Destiny is acknowledging and aligning yourself with something greater than yourself. That “Greatness” is in control and you are cooperating with it. Remain mindful of that. It keeps you humble and able to follow, not lead, your destiny.

Which one of these points is hardest for you?

There’s one more part to this 3 part post. It’s coming soon – and it’s got the most important and the most overlooked step. Stay tuned …

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Feeling empty?

I feel empty. Do you?

Do you ever allow the crazy busyness of your life to slow down enough to realize how incredibly empty you feel inside?

Some people run from this feeling – through alcohol, drugs, being a workaholic, etc.

Some people are overwhelmed by this feeling and they become depressed or worse.

What do you do with this feeling of emptiness? How do you manage it? Why is it there?

My feeling of emptiness feels like the Grand Canyon inside. Like I have this immense capacity that needs to be filled and most of the time, it isn’t. Can you relate?

And nothing satisfies this emptiness – have you noticed? You can stay busy and ignore it. You can try to fill it with work, money, entertainment, relationships, cars, houses, fashion, hobbies, children, etc. – but it never feels satisfied.

I have never found any natural substance that can fill this vacuum.

So I turned to the “supernatural” – that unseen realm we are told exists just outside our natural senses of awareness. People try meditating, yoga, special exercises to calm the mind and body. It certainly reduces your stress, but fill that void? Haven’t found one that does that yet.

How do YOU fill that void? Or do you do what everyone else does and just stay busy so you won’t feel the pain of emptiness? Denial only works for so long … eventually our awareness of that vacuum arises again.

I figured out why it’s there for – at least for me. And I figured out what to do with it. But knowing and doing are two different things.

For me, this gnawing emptiness is there to remind me that there’s more to this life than what meets the eye. That there is a realm beyond our natural possibilities that invites us to be more than we ever believed possible. And it draws me daily to chase after the only thing that I have found that satisfies.

I want more of what fills this place. I’ve got to have it to survive. So I pursue daily. Sometimes a little bit, sometimes a lot. I wake up at night with this longing for MORE. Almost like a drug addict, I can’t live without that connection, that intimacy with something greater than myself. That sense of Being that resonates throughout the universe. That Cause greater than ourselves.

We all feel it calling to us … we just don’t always respond or know how to. It calls us to our best selves. To be more than we ever dreamed possible. To care more that we are comfortable caring. To BE more than we have ever given ourselves permission to BE. It’s an unstoppable Force that is carrying along our entire universe yet it focuses on each one of us personally, drawing us in, calling to us in the night.

You know you’ve felt it. We all have. I call it “God” for lack of a better word. Though that word has been defined so many different ways that I hesitate to use it. But no other concept compares. This Big, Undefinable, Huge, Mysterious Force that calls us to Love and to BE things that seem totally beyond our ability. I call it “God”.

So, if you ever see me refer to “God” in my posts, you’ll know that’s what I am referring to. Not some religious concept on stained glass windows or chanted by a devotee of some system of rules. No, this is much, much bigger than anything I’ve ever encountered in manmade systems or structures.

I ask again: Do you ever allow the crazy busyness of your life to slow down enough to realize how incredibly empty you feel inside? What do YOU do with that feeling?

It’s driving me crazy right now … can’t get enough of what I need to be satisfied, to fill this Grand Canyon size hole in my soul. I must have MORE.

 

Intuition Exercise

In my last post, I discussed the importance of paying attention to your intuition. In this one, I will share with you an exercise I developed for helping someone make decisions based on their intuition (aka listening to your gut).

How to Practice Listening to Your Gut

Place one hand on your stomach, just above your belly button.

Focus on the area beneath your hand – that is your gut. Very often when we get a “gut instinct” about a person or a decision, we feel something in this region of our body. Some people describe it as “peace” or “relaxed” or “comfortable” when the gut agrees with what you are doing. When the gut does not agree, people say they feel a “tightness” or “fear” or a “bad feeling”.

Think about a decision you need to make. Come up with 2 options regarding the decision. For instance,

  1. I want to take this job offer.
  2. I do not want to take this job offer.

or if regarding a person,

  1. I want to spend time with this person.
  2. I do not want to spend time with this person.

You can come up with any two options that are appropriate to your situation.

Close your eyes. Take several deep breaths, slowly. Allow your mind to quiet down. Focus on your breath as it goes in and out.

Focus on the area underneath your hand – not physically, but emotionally or “internally”.

Say each of your options out loud. Say them one at a time and say them slowly. See if there is any difference in your gut. Do you have more peace regarding one option versus the other? Or do you a have a “bad feeling” about one of them?

If you don’t get a clear answer, try this process again on a different day. Sometimes timing is a factor in trusting your gut. You might not need to know the answer today. Tomorrow might provide more information and give you a clearer answer.

Many people have said that when they trust their gut, they make decisions that are good for them and that seem like the right thing to do. However, when they ignore that “gut feeling”, they often regret the decisions they made. Later it becomes clear that they should have followed their gut!

Research has shown that there is a very dense concentration of nerves that cover this area of the stomach, almost as complex as the nerves in your brain. Some have said this is your “second brain” to help you make wise decisions. Pay attention to what it is telling you.

If you’d like some help with learning to listen to your gut or intuition, please contact me. I offer affordable one-on-one coaching, in person or over the phone, to help people learn how to make decisions that are good for them. This is an essential life skill – it would be wise for you to develop it. It is also wisdom to know when you need help and to ask for it.

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

 

Sandy Walker is a Freedom Coach who works with clients in person or by telephone anywhere they are. To find out more, visit www.destinysfreedom.com or contact Sandy.

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