Destiny's calling – it's time to answer! / / Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Posts tagged ‘intimacy’

Does Familiarity Breed Contempt? You choose

This week during the Couples Workshop we discussed the cliché, “Familiarity breeds contempt”. Unfortunately, this is often true when it comes to long-term romantic relationships. They start out full of excitement and energy, but after a while couples can fall into the rut of contempt. Getting to know someone very well in the day-to-day challenges of life can cause you to start noticing all the little things about them that annoy you. If you are not careful, you can allow this annoyance to turn into disrespect. Disrespect, if nurtured by further disappointment and negative thinking, can become full-blown contempt. Once a couple reaches the stage of mutual disrespect and contempt, it is very hard to save the relationship.

What can you do?

You spent a lot of time and energy finding your partner – it’s worth it to invest in keeping the relationship healthy and full of life! The secret is – you get to CHOOSE whether you allow your heart to cultivate contempt or not. Isn’t that surprising? YOU are the only one who determines whether or not you will allow familiarity to breed contempt. It doesn’t have to – it can actually breed the opposite: Admiration and Intimacy.

Action step: If you notice yourself thinking a lot of negative thoughts about the one you love, stop and reconsider. YOU get to choose your own thoughts. Separate in your mind the behavior from the person – too often we jump to conclusions about WHY a person does what they do. You really don’t know and when you jump to conclusions, you tend to pass judgment on them. Don’t do that! Give them the benefit of the doubt – treat them as you would want to be treated. Assume the best, not the worst. Practice gratitude – daily think of things you are grateful for that your partner does. Make a point of telling them what you are grateful for – a partner that feels loved and appreciated will have greater respect and gratitude for YOU. See how that works? You treat them the way you want to be treated and you reap the positivity that you’ve given them. This cultivates intimacy instead of contempt.


If you find yourself struggling with this, contact me. I can help you work through this issue and turn your relationship around! I have tools and techniques that help you “pull your weeds” and plant better seeds to that you can enjoy the fruit of your garden. Having someone help you with this makes it much easier and the work goes much faster!

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Love Melts Walls – Reach out to someone today

Q43 Love Melts Walls

Love Melts Walls – Reach out to someone today

False Intimacy leaves you empty

Q36 False intimacy

False Intimacy leaves you empty. It may LOOK like Intimacy but it doesn’t satisfy your soul … Don’t settle!

Do you know the difference between true and false intimacy? Your soul does. If you have an intimate encounter and you feel empty afterwards … guess what? That’s false intimacy.

True intimacy leaves you feeling safe, loved and satisfied.

If your heart feels empty, it’s because it is not receiving True Love.

People use each other all the time. It may look like intimacy, it may look like what happens in the movies, but your heart feels empty later. That’s one indicator you can trust to tell you that it’s not real intimacy.

Please don’t settle. You are worth more than that. Once you decide you deserve real intimacy with real love, it will come to you. Close the door to any relationship that is not worthy of you. You deserve to be loved, not used. You know the difference – trust your gut. It won’t lead you wrong.

Look around and ask, “Where is the Love?” Follow that path. It will lead you where you want to go.

Don’t be afraid. You are not alone. As you pursue what is authentic and true for you, you will find others just like you who are tired of false intimacy.

If this is something you’d like some help with, please contact me. I specialize in helping people find what they are looking for. 🙂

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Wishing Upon A Star

Wishing on a Star

When you wish upon a star,

Makes no difference who you are.

When you wish upon a star,

Your dreams will come true.

Don’t you wish it was that easy? Just wish upon a star – kind of like the law of attraction. Just set your intentions and magically they’ll just appear.

Most of us have tried that and yeah, well, it didn’t happen that way.

However, you CAN become a Real Boy (or Girl) like Pinnochio did. Ever feel like you are kind of “wooden” in your heart? Like you can’t really feel things like other people do?

Maybe you’ve worked so hard to protect yourself that now NO ONE can get in and that worries you. Funny how that happens, huh?

You decide that you’ll never trust anyone again … and then you meet someone you’d like to trust. But now you can’t. You find that you are “stuck” somehow and you’re heart won’t open up to them. That fortress of self-protection you built is so strong that now even you can’t get through it.

Uh-oh. Now what?

You don’t have to wish upon a star & hope something “magical” just happens for you. It’s not like that.

YOU can actually make some choices that will open your heart. Yeah, really. It might be unfamiliar territory and you might feel a little uncomfortable doing it. But if you want to, if you really want to, it can be done.

Want to know how? It’s not going to be easy – are you sure you’re up for this? Better think about it for a moment. You’ve been protecting your heart a very, very long time. It will be unfamiliar to choose to trust another person and let them inside your heart.

But it is SOOOO worth it … if it’s the right person. YOU can actually FEEL loved if you do pull down that wall. Really. I bet you never felt truly loved before. In fact, I think it might be impossible to feel truly loved if you have walls that keep others out. If you never let people see the real you, then when they say they love you – you know in your heart that they don’t love the REAL you because they’ve never seen it. And they’ve never seen it because you’re too afraid to show it to them. So they love what they THINK is you, but deep in your heart you wonder if they would still love you if they saw the REAL you, right?

So, anyway, you can feel truly loved if you let down that wall.

Are you ready? I’m not going to detail the whole process – that would take a book. Check out my books page if you’re interested in going deeper. Today, I’m only going to give you the first step … here it is.

Forgiveness Key

Honestly, if you will begin to forgive those that you know you’ve locked away in your heart, you will actually set yourself free from your own walls. It’s not easy – I told you that. But oh will you feel better – I promise! You will feel such a weight lift off of you – you will wonder why you didn’t do this sooner. Here’s some inspiration –

Forgive Strong Happy

So, if you are ready to be happy – just do it! Your heart will thank you. I promise.

Feel free to post your comments below. If you’d like to contact me privately to help you work through this forgiveness thing (a LOT of people need help with that – you’re not alone), send me an email through my website: DestinysFreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

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