Destiny's calling – it's time to answer! / / Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Posts tagged ‘lies’

Got Mental Weeds?

Garden of thoughts

“I can do it!”
“I have what it takes.”
“I am a good person.”
Personal affirmations like the ones above are touted by most self-help gurus. They tell us to say these things to ourselves every day, emphasizing that you should look in the mirror when you say them.

I’m not knocking that – positive affirmations are definitely better than what most of us hear in our heads. Things like …
“How could you say something so stupid?”
“I’ll never make it. I’m a failure.”

Those gurus tell us that if we monitor our negative “self-talk” and replace it with positive affirmations, our lives will change dramatically.

The problem is – it doesn’t usually work so well. Your mind says, “Who are you kidding? You think saying these statements is going to magically make them true?” The words feel empty – lacking the power of transformation.

So what can be done? I discovered a few years ago that part of the reason why positive affirmations don’t work very well is that the negative statements we believe about ourselves are anchored by emotional experiences. As long as the emotional anchor is still there, no amount of pretty words is going to remove it.

In many cases, those negative statements were said to us when we were emotionally vulnerable – by someone we admired or loved (i.e. parent, teacher, coach). Sometimes we said them to ourselves when we felt rejected by someone else.

We’ve got to deal with the emotional anchor – the memory of the pain – before we can let go of the negative statement and replace it with a positive one. I am amazed that a lot of self-help books skip this part. It is critical to successful transformation!

Action step: In order to remove the negative statement you believe about yourself, you’ve got to get to the root. Just like in gardening, if you cut a weed at the base but leave the roots in the ground, guess what will happen? The weed will grow back – just like those negative thoughts. You have to dig into the dirt and pull the weed up by the roots. What’s nice is that when you do that, it leaves a little hole for the new seed to be planted. That’s where the positive affirmation comes in.

I have an exercise in my book called the Lie Detector. It can be used to “uproot” those negative statements you believe. It involves forgiving the person who caused you pain when they said those statements about you – sometimes that person was you.

If you’d like some help with the gardening process, please give me a call! I’d love to help you pull some weeds so you have space to grow beautiful flowers. What you plant will grow – the choice is YOURS. Contact me

Flowers from my Garden

Partial truth is not the same as Whole Truth …

Q51 Partial Truth is Deception
Partial truth is not the same as Whole Truth. Partial Truth is Deception. Watch out!

Who’s in control here?

Q22 Who's in control

Who’s in control here? You or Me? – God

Just a little reminder to surrender control of the new year to the Higher Power who brings order to the Universe we know. The more we try to grasp for control, the more anxious we become. The more anxious we are, the less we enjoy life. The less we enjoy life, the more miserable we are – and we tend to affect all those around us as well. We also don’t sleep well and don’t make wise decisions when we are anxious.

So, just give it up already! Surrendering control to something bigger than you is incredibly freeing! It brings tremendous peace and joy – when you just let go. Try it! ♥

Image

Break your Ties with the Lies you Believe

Break your Ties with Lies

FIND TRUTH: Break your Ties with the Lies you Believe. You CAN be FREE!

Overcome Your Biggest Obstacle – Yourself!

I was invited to be a guest blogger by Tara Husband over at Edgy Social Media. She asked me to write a post aimed at creative types – artists, entrepreneurs, musicians, etc. Here’s the beginning of the article – click the link to read the rest.

Enjoy!

Overcome Your Biggest Obstacle – Yourself!

Do you know you can have the best, most creative ideas for business and yet sabotage them by what you say to yourself? You can be a brilliant artist, songwriter, musician or entrepreneur and yet be locked in a daily battle of fear and insecurity. You may have been told in the past that you weren’t that smart or talented or you didn’t quite “fit in”. Guess what? You BELIEVED it! That’s what is holding you back from pursuing your destiny, from entering “the zone”, from discovering that next big money-making idea.

To continue reading – click here.

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website http://www.destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

The Gardening Approach to Personal Transformation

Garden of thoughts

“I can do it!”
“I have what it takes.”
“I am a good person.”
“I am talented and creative.”
Personal affirmations like the ones above are touted by most self-help gurus. They tell us to say these things to ourselves every day, emphasizing that you should look in the mirror when you say them.

I’m not knocking that – positive affirmations are definitely better than what most of us hear in our heads. Things like …
“How could you say something so stupid?”
“I’ll never make it. I’m a failure.”
“I’ll never be happy. This is all there is to life and I’m miserable.”

Those gurus tell us that if we monitor our negative “self-talk” and replace it with positive affirmations, our lives will change dramatically.

The problem is – it doesn’t usually work so well. Have you ever tried those positive affirmations and while you are reading them, your heart says to you, “Yeah, right.” The words feel empty – lacking the power of transformation. Your mind says, “Who are you kidding? You think saying these statements is going to magically make them true?”

You see where I’m going with this.

So what can be done? I discovered a few years ago that part of the reason why positive affirmations don’t work very well is that the negative statements we believe about ourselves are anchored by emotional experiences. As long as the emotional anchor is still there, no amount of pretty words is going to remove it.

In many cases, those negative statements were said to us when we were emotionally vulnerable – by someone we admired or loved (i.e. parent, teacher, coach). Sometimes we said them to ourselves when we felt rejected by someone else.

We’ve got to deal with the emotional anchor – the memory of the pain – before we can let go of the negative statement and replace it with a positive one. I am amazed that a lot of self-help books skip this part. It is critical to successful transformation!

To see an example of what I mean, you can check out the Lie Detector exercise I posted a little while ago. In order to remove the negative statement (the lie) you believe about yourself, you’ve got to get to the root. Just like in gardening, if you cut a weed at the base but leave the roots in the ground, guess what will happen? The weed will grow back – just like those negative thoughts. You have to dig into the dirt and pull the weed up by the roots. What’s nice is that when you do that, it leaves a little hole for the new seed to be planted. That’s where the positive affirmation comes in. The last step on the Lie Detector exercise is to ask for the truth you need to hear. I often have my clients make a list of the truths they receive when they do this exercise – they usually do it several times a week. That becomes a list of positive affirmations for them to read out loud each day. Because the lie has been completely uprooted, the truth has room to take root and grow inside them. Then personal transformation happens – EVERY TIME.

pullyourweeds2

Are you ready to start your journey toward transformation? Contact me for coaching or check out one of my books for “self-coaching”.

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.

What Lies Do You Believe? Part 3

This is a continuation from a previous post which you can read here (start with Part 1).

In the last post, you read the story of Amanda – an example of how believing a lie can really affect your quality of life.

So what Lies do you believe? Have you been thinking about this?

Here’s a real good indicator that you may believe a lie – look for fear, anxiety, worry or stress. Start with the negative fruit that a lie brings you and you’ll generally be on the right path.

Most of the lies we believe are things we don’t even think about – we just assume our perspective on the world is accurate and we base our decisions on this assumption. Because of this, I’ve discovered (by working with my coaching clients) that we need a way to access these unconscious distortions that does not rely on our ability to identify them.

I’ve developed the following “heart exercise” to help my clients identify lies they believe – specifically about themselves. And it works. People are astounded at the lies they uncover and the truth they receive when they do this exercise. Try it yourself! Then post in the comments what you experienced. I’d love to hear about it.

This exercise and others like it are in my book, Freedom through Forgiveness. You can read an excerpt here – it’s about forgiveness, which is foundational to how/why this exercise “works”. If you are not sure about choosing to forgive, I recommend you read that excerpt first. It makes all the difference.

Step: Lie Detector: Self Concept
Go to a place where you will not be interrupted. Take a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly to help you relax and to quiet your mind.

Say these statements/questions out loud and then wait for an answer. An answer may come as a feeling, a thought, a picture in your mind, a word, a memory or just an inner knowing. You can do this alone or with a friend. If no answer comes to the first question, go to a different step – this may not be the right time for this step.

“Spirit of Truth, is there a lie I believe about myself?” (pause and wait for an answer)

“Who taught me that lie?” (pause and wait for an answer)

“I forgive (name) for teaching me this lie. I forgive myself for receiving this lie and allowing it to influence my thoughts. I release myself from this lie. I give it up and let it go.”

“What truth do I need to hear?” (pause and wait for an answer)

“I receive the truth that (the truth).”

Note: We refer to the “Spirit of Truth” as a means to access the clarity or insight needed. Many people find that this method helps them obtain information that may not be readily available to their conscious mind.

Feel free to comment below. You can contact me privately through my website www.destinysfreedom.com.

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: