Ok, let’s be honest. We’ve all been rejected before – by friends, by family, by people we loved or admired. It happens.
Guess what? It’s not your fault.
Yeah, really. I know that’s a big pill to swallow, but honestly, in most cases people reject you because of their own issues. Not yours.
Let me say that again:
PEOPLE REJECT YOU BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN ISSUES. NOT YOURS.
When someone rejects you it is a reflection on where THEY are at – not a reflection on who you are.
Except that we all take it personally, don’t we? When we get rejected, we think, “There must be something wrong with me or else I wouldn’t be rejected.”
People are generally only thinking of themselves (come on, you know this is true – because you are most often thinking of yourself, right?). When you say or do something they don’t like, they pull away or say something to reject you (i.e. “You’re stupid!” (or worse)). Why? Because they are not thinking about YOU – they are thinking about themselves. It’s all about THEM, remember?
Yeah, even your mother. Or your best friend. Or your devoted partner or spouse. It happens.
Problem is – we take it deeply personally. We think it is a reflection on our worth. It’s not.
YOU are infinitely valuable and worthy. You know this deep down. That’s why when you are rejected, you feel so bad because you expected to be loved and accepted. You know down deep in your heart that you deserve to be loved. We all do. We DO deserve to be loved. We were created to give and receive love – it’s part of what makes us human: LOVE.
So, here’s the kicker. When somone rejects us, we start rejecting ourselves. This is very, very bad. Why? Because if we don’t like ourselves, we start acting in very bad ways. Like the kid who is always trying to get attention – you remember him. In school, he was always getting into trouble. He would do things to get into trouble so that he could get some attention. Even if it was negative attention – at least someone noticed he was there (usually in the principal’s office or in detention, right?).
Anyway, when we start rejecting ourselves, we tend to start acting like that kid. We start doing things we regret. We find that we cannot stop some behaviors that we’d like to stop (like drinking or using drugs). We start hanging out with other people who don’t like themselves who also like to get into trouble because it makes us feel more comfortable. Misery loves company.
So, where am I going with all this?
It’s time to stop rejecting yourself.
It’s time to say, “This is who I am and I like me!” Start with a few friends and then your family and then tell the whole world.
If you’re doing things you don’t like – OK, admit that. “There are some things I do that I don’t like.” If you need to apologize, then do it.
But then say this to yourself – “I like WHO I AM on the inside. I am worthy of being loved! And the first person who will love me is ME.” This actually challenges others to like you too. In fact, people admire and look up to those who LIKE themselves. It comes out as confidence (not arrogance). We are drawn to confident people. They become leaders by default. People want to follow them. It just happens.
When you stop rejecting who you are on the inside, people will find it harder to reject you. Love is contagious. When you start loving YOU – guess what? Other people will too. And if someone happens to reject you, you’ll smile and have pity on them because you’ll realize, they are rejecting a good thing. They are missing out on enjoying WHO YOU ARE.
YOU ROCK! ♥
Feel free to post your comments below. If you’d like to contact me privately to help you work through self-rejection, send me an email through my website: DestinysFreedom.com.
Sandy Walker, Freedom Coach